Can a Christian Date or Marry Outside their Race?

As a pastor and spiritual advisor, I have been asked this question about dating or marrying people of other races often. I guess the fact that when I was younger I “dated” and considered marrying both a Japanese girl and an African American girl may provide insight view, but this, of course, does not make it either right or wrong, nor does it inform my conclusion.  My actions as a young man were, however, based on what I already knew of God’s Word.

To help understand, we need to remember that all humans descended from one man, Adam, and one woman, Eve. That means that since we all come from the same great, great, great, great, etc, etc grandparents, all human beings are cousins of one level or another, and therefore, there is only one "Race," the Human Race.

What the Bible does talk about is people of different nations and cultures. The only thing the Bible really says about marrying someone from a different nationality or culture has to do with their religious beliefs. The people of Israel were told not to marry people from other nations because they worshipped other gods that Yahweh, the God of the Israelites, and the God we as Christians worship today.

Deuteronomy 7:3-6(ESV)
3You shall not intermarry with them, giving your daughters to their sons or taking their daughters for your sons, 4for they would turn away your sons from following me, to serve other gods. Then the anger of the Lord would be kindled against you, and he would destroy you quickly. 5But thus shall you deal with them: you shall break down their altars and dash in pieces their pillars and chop down their Asherim and burn their carved images with fire. 6“For you are a people holy to the Lord your God. The Lord your God has chosen you to be a people for his treasured possession, out of all the peoples who are on the face of the earth."

The command was only to prevent the Israelites from worshipping false idols. In the New Testament (NT), Paul calls Christians in Galatians 6:16 and other passages, “the Israel of God." While we are not under the law, I am convinced by 2 Cor. 6:14-18 and other passages that God desires the same purity today.

The only passage in the NT applied to marriage that some people may try to use to say you shouldn't marry people of other races is 2 Corinthians 6:14. However, when you look at the entire passage, it becomes clear that it is not speaking about marrying outside your "race" at all. In fact, the passage is not specifically speaking about marriage, but about all close relationships Christians establish. This would however apply to marriage and dating:

2 Corinthians 6:14-18(ESV)
14Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness? 15What accord has Christ with Belial? Or what portion does a believer share with an unbeliever? 16What agreement has the temple of God with idols? For we are the temple of the living God; as God said, “I will make my dwelling among them and walk among them, and I will be their God, and they shall be my people. 17 Therefore go out from their midst, and be separate from them, says the Lord, and touch no unclean thing; then I will welcome you, 18and I will be a father to you, and you shall be sons and daughters to me, says the Lord Almighty.”

The words “unequally yoke” come from the agricultural picture of two animals being “yoked” together to pull a plow, and would therefore apply to any relationship that binds you to another person including business, marriage, etc.

The simple truth of the matter is that the “Man Made” definitions of the “Races,” having no Biblical foundations, should have no effect on who we believe God has for us to marry. The critical factors for Christians to consider should always be first, “Is this person a born again believer in the Lord Jesus Christ?” Second, “Do they have the same spiritual goals that God has given me?” Third, if I am a male, “will she follow my spiritual leadership?” and if I am a female, “Can I trust his spiritual leadership?” Forth, “Are we emotionally compatible?” Fifth, “Do we have the same goals for our life?” Finally, “Do I believe this the person with whom God would have me spend the rest of my life yoked together?”

These are all good questions to ask when considering with whom you should marry or not. If you will ask these questions even about the person you are considering dating you will keep yourself from a great deal of heartache.

I know this is more than you asked, but I hope it will help you as a teenager. I appreciate your willingness to come to me and pray that God will guide and bless you as you walk with Him.